We’re almost a week into the life of EffingTheDog.com™, and I figure that if you’ve stuck with me to this point, you either have a virus on your computer that has made this your home page, or have started to embrace this philosophy to the point of doing nothing but checking the site for updates. Good on you!Since your devotion appears to be unwavering, I will get a bit more into the nuts and bolts behind EffTD™. After all, you’ve earned it.2. High Speed Internet: You need to escape on a regular basis, and you want the fastest connection possible to surf from site to site on The Information Highway. And while the make of computer is optional, you’d be better off with a notebook Acer due to the reliability factor. More down time means more Effing The Dog™.
3. Alcohol: The ultimate EffTD tool. Should never be used in excess – only when you feel yourself slipping into what I call “Cycloptic Focus.” Alcohol is a sure-fire way to bring you back down to what you should be doing – Effing The Dog™.
4. Television: Another great tool, with so many channels to watch. It often is the genesis for an EffTD™ apostle to become an expert in another essential tool…
5. Trivia: Someone who is Effing The Dog™ regularly is bound to win the family holiday Trivial Pursuit challenge. Without a doubt.
Other tools that I’ll discuss in detail…eventually…include:
- the legendary tool that allows one to play God with the television schedule – TiVo
- having multiple inboxes – both analog and digital
- multiple writing instruments
- the outdoors
- Chuck E. Cheese’s
Oh, and if you are paying particular attention to the site, you’ve noticed that posts “appear” to pop up days later that indicate they should have been there days earlier. It’s called “Effing The Blog”, another component of the EffTD™ system. You’ll only find it here, and it simply means that I am applying the principles of Effing The Dog™ on this site as well.
Would you expect any less? Don’t worry…you will.
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