“Scheming is awesome” – Colin Hynes
You’ve probably heard that planning is a key component in any productivity system. Rhetoric such as “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” are spewed out like water from a fireman’s hose in Vegas. What people fail to realize is that ANYONE can plan.
Think about it. Have you ever heard anyone say “I can’t plan anything; never have been able to, never will be able to.” Not going to happen. Plans are a fundamental part of existence. They are unavoidable. What you have to do is learn to deal with planning and all of its pitfalls.
Pitfalls, did I say? Yep. There are countless ones:
– you plan a picnic and it rains
– you plan to tell someone of your undying devotion to them and they shun you like Audrey Hepburn did that cat at the end of the coming-of-age film Breakfast at Tiffany’s*
– you plan a poker game with your buddies and no one shows up
– you plan a picnic with your unrequited love and your buddies; no one shows up and it rains
Get the picture?
What you need to do when you’re Effing The Dog™ is to scheme. Scheming is essential. It creates an aura of mystery, of creepiness. Trust me. I have been told how much I creep people out, and once I started scheming it increased my "Creepiness factor" ten-fold.
If someone told you that they were planning a dinner party and would like you to come, would you go? I certainly would (I mean, if I wasn’t doing anything, which I almost always am with my buddies). But if someone told you they were scheming a dinner party and wanted you to come, would you go? I wouldn’t – I’d be afraid to.
Scheming will allow you to remove yourself from situations easier down the line. If you scheme enough, people won’t ask you to do much because you’ve pretty much freaked them out with your schemes. It’s what I like to call The Schematic Equation.
Scheming + Action + Result = 0
(where 0 = Work/Effort)
Now – an exercise. What I’d like you to do in the comments section below is give me an example of what would happen if you replaced the word “plan” with the word “scheme” (with any appropriate prefixes or suffixes you need to use – you have 750 characters to play with, after all). There are no prizes for this, I haven’t gotten around to that yet. It’ll happen someday.
Scheme away!
*I've lost sleep over the name of that cat in the movie, so help me out here, folks!
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From the news: “George Bush has announced schemes that involve White House schemers and urban schemers, in a scheme to revitalize the Transportation Scheming Act. Schemes are afoot to make both departments larger and more comprehensive. Says Bush ” We have big schemes and hopes for this initiative, and are scheming on implementing the master scheme as quickly as possible.” Here’s hoping it all goes according to scheme.