One of the many tools that will keep you Effing The Dog is music. Now, today I’m not going to go into why this is such an important tool – but I am going to present to you those that give us the Metabo of musical EffTD-ness. These artists (both in solo and group – or “not solo” - form) have truly embodied music as an art form; an expression of creative energy through song. Not many musicians can do that. Beyond that, they are an Eventualist’s best source of musical merriment…1. Led Zeppelin
These guys were musical innovators in so many ways, but none is more prominent to EffTDers than the tremendous length of their songs. With some of their opuses clocking in at over 20 minutes, they reign as supreme rulers of the “long song.” Just be sure that you don’t confuse their rendition of “Moby Dick” with the audiobook version of “Moby Dick.” It doesn’t read as well.
2. The Doors
They make the cut based on the sheer amount of time it will take for you to interpret Jim Morrison’s lyrics. It is interesting to note that Jim Morrison died three years prior to the day I was born. Interpret that, my friends.
3. Bob Dylan
You either eventually understand his poetic lyrics or you eventually give up trying.
4. Mike Oldfield
Wins points for Tubular Bells, but loses them for separating them into two parts. Storms back as a top ten finisher because the haunting tune stays with you forever. Nothing is more eventual than forever.
5. Pink Floyd
Making a gapless album of progressive rock is nothing new – but making a movie based on it is worthy of praise. And getting Bob Geldof to work on Mondays while filming it is simply inspiring. I also must point out here that the real EffTD aspect of this band lies in the fact that you eventually will hear one of their songs in a dental office (another area where Eventualism thrives).
6. The Grateful Dead
Eventually had a hit. Enough said.
7. Dream Theater
This band will eventually put (and passively force) you to “meditate.” Wikipedia notes the following as well:
“Throughout their career, Dream Theater's live shows have gradually become bigger, longer, and more diverse. The most obvious example of this is their rotational set list policy. That is, every single night of every tour has its set list devised by Portnoy using a meticulous process that ensures its uniqueness. Factors such as set lists from previous cities are taken into account to ensure that people who see Dream Theater multiple times within the same area will not see the same songs performed twice, and even the set list from the last time the band was in a particular city is taken into account for the benefit of fans who see the band on successive tours.” – Wikpedia, courtesy of an interview with Mike Portnoy at No Earplugs Required.
Doing what Wikipedia just said these guys do is pure EffTD.
8. Dire Straits
Very subtle in their tactics, this band clocks in most of their works at 6 or so minutes. They also were around for a long time before eventually breaking up. But the big reason they rank is because it took a while for the band to convince Mark Knopfler that the video for “Money For Nothing” should be computer-generated. He eventually relented, and Super Mario was born.
An album with one track that is 69 minutes long . Enough said. Again.
10. Jonathan Coulton
Wrote a song a week for iTunes – and eventually finished up a year later. Also, his musical journey was the eventual catalyst to my own journey. In this case, being 10 on a list of this magnitude means he gets a 10 out of 10 in my book.
There you have it – and with the blessed Internets at our disposal, you can have all of their music at your own eventual pace. Enjoy.
Oh, and speaking of my book…well, more on that later.
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