Interview Strategies For The Eventualist

I’ve always been a fan of interviews because it makes me feel like a real journalist. Not one of those iReporters or eCorrespondants or oPinionators, but a real journalist – like Stephen Colbert. I’ve learned a lot since starting to do interviews, such as the old adage “tell them, tell them what you told them and then tell them again.” Mind you, it doesn’t really work too well when you replace the word “tell” with “ask.” It just frustrates the interviewee and they end up calling you names – one interviewee even called me an “ask hole” once, which goes to show that you can ask too many questions if you’re not careful. Here are some rules to follow if you plan on eventually conducting an interview for your own gain/purposes/interests:

Use Skype, if possible. I say this not only because it is cheap and fairly easy to do, but also because I’m largely behind the movement that want to see Skype become a more widely adopted tool for communicating. Our organization is perhaps better known as “People Having Outstanding Network Engagement.”
Limit yourself to 7 questions because 7 is a nice number.
Find interesting people to interview and have a “hook.” Pirates are always good place to start for this, but if you think outside the box you may find that former heavy machinery operators and villainous heads of crime syndicates may work as well.
Never be on time. Make like it’s a live theatre show and you’re the performer. It’s always good to keep them waiting; it keeps them from thinking that they’re really all that important to you. If you are not a theatrical performer and did not understand the reference above, pretend you are a doctor and they are your patient. Everybody gets that.
Always wear black, no matter how the interview is conducted. It’s slimming.