Well, I’m back. As eventual as ever.
I returned from the country south-south of where I live, and I have not been “influenzed” in the least. I can only assume that alcohol taken throughout an excursion there can be not only therapeutic, but preventative.
I’d like to congratulate the winners of my EventuaLottery, but I’ll do so next entry. Right now (that was difficult to say), I feel that is my duty as your Eventual Productivity Expert to get you “in the know” when it comes to terms that describe that all-important thing you need to take at least twelve times per year: the vacation.
What follows are 30 of the more popular types of vacations one can take. If you have further suggestions, please tweet them to me or leave a comment below. I’ll look them over and eventually dismiss them as inferior, but will leave them up nonetheless.
And now…The Vacationary.
1. Baycation – 1. A holiday comprising of watching the films of acclaimed director Michael Bay. Not to be confused with “Bruckheimerfest.” 2. A trip to San Francisco.
2. Claycation – A tennis holiday.
3. Fraycation – A vacation that involves fighting of some sort. Can be used to signify fighting about where to go on vacation or a vacation where you go to watch people fight.
4. Gaycation – 1. A really dumb holiday. 2. A really joyous holiday. 3. A trip to San Francisco.
5. Haycation – A trip to a farm.
6. Weighcation – A trip to the fat farm.
7. Laycation – A trip to one of those Hedonism places.
8. Maycation – 1. A trip you take in May. 2. A trip that could happen.
9. Paycation – A business trip.
10. Playcation – A trip to an amusement park.
11. Praycation – Any sort of religious trip.
12. Sheacation – A trip to New York to watch their other baseball team.
13. Slaycation – A hunting trip.
14. Sleighcation – 1. A trip to the North Pole. 2. A trip to the mall so your kids can have their picture taken with Santa Claus.
15. Straycation – A vacation where things don’t go exactly as planned.
16. Yaycation – A really fun trip.
17. Treycation – A trip to basketball camp.
18. Drécation – A trip involving a hip-hop or rap concert.
19. Vraication – A Franch-themed vacation taken to search for the truth.
20. Olécation – A trip to Mexico.
21. Chécation – A trip to Cuba.
22. Okaytion – A trip that was just average. Not to be confused with okaysion, which is an event that was just average.
23. Placation – A trip one takes just to appease another. (Used in a sentence: I just returned from a placation with my wife.)
24. Fakation – A trip you told people you took, but never actually did.
25. Filetcation – A fishing excursion.
26. Oy-Vaycation – A Jewish vacation.
27. Raycation – A trip where you have no idea where you’re going, but ends up being great. Named after Ray Charles.
28. Fay Wraycation – A trip with a primate. (Used in a sentence: Clint Eastwood went on a Fay Wraycation in Any Which Way But Loose.)
29. Neighcation – A trip to your neighbor’s house.
30. Bidetcation – A trip to the bathroom.
